A blogroll can be read as a comprehensive list of friends, or interests, or as addendums to an entry. Often it is just considered an auxiliary, perhaps even to be ignored….seen day after day. In the end, it’s usually to the side of an entry truly reflecting the core of who the writer really is. Today it mirrors my birthday.
This date is one I used to celebrate with a certain enjoyment as an adult. Some years I celebrated less; my kids remember these non-celebration years. Some years more….one I asked for presents for a women’s half way house, another year I went to London and Paris. In 2001, the birthday was knocked out of me. I sat mesmerized in front of the television sharing the horror of the moment with millions of others here in the United States. Today I pray for peace.
For years I felt that hope had been destroyed on this day. Innocence was gone. Childlike wonder was wiped out along with 2,974 humans….individuals who still had beauty and grace and life to live. I spent many years of birthdays in depression the gloom made worse by the hearty good cheer of friends and family.
“Get over it,” they would tell me.
They couldn’t see that I was stuck in the sorrow, horror, and ugliness of the terrorist attack reinforced by Bush’s war. For years I kept a silent updated total of the war dead in my blogroll. My quiet protest. In September of 2006, the war dead numbers surpassed the 9/11 death toll. As public opinion polarized, I took the numbers down.
“Perhaps I will feel better if I can write about it all,” I said to G last night. He didn’t seem convinced.
I find that research and writing help me put my emotions and feelings into perspective. I was an only child raised in an angry, silent, alcoholic household. My birthday was one semi-happy day in a sea of martini soaked angry days. Childishly, I took the terrorist attack to heart, personally, angrily, soaking myself in the sorrow of the day.
Today is a good day to begin letting this personal sadness go. I took a moment to pray about 9/11 early this morning. My dearest G started me off with song and coffee accompanied by a silver bracelet. Just moments ago, my eldest daughter called and had a whole building full of people yell, “Happy Birthday Georgette.” What delightful, happy, smiling ways to move on into a positive day. Carpe Diem indeed.
A 9/11 Blogroll:
Time Goes By: The world Trade Center - One person’s memory. A must read.
NYC Architecture: Architectural images of the World Trade Center.
Shattered: A Time Magazine photo essay
9/11 Pentagon What Really Happened – Eyewitness accounts
Flight 93: Memorial design selected
NYC Blogging: This blogging site offers us a blogroll of 9/11 posts.
9/11 Blogger.com: Alternative 9/11 news
World Trade Center Architecture: Some facts about the Architecture of the WTV
Great Buildings: World Trade Center.