December 21, 2007

Day of the "Standing-Still-Sun"

Holiday Images: 2005: left, Grampa G with Madge. Right, Gramma with Madge.

It’s a day of new beginnings.

  • Roman festivals - Divalia in honour of Angerona

  • R.C. Saints - O Oriens, Saint Petrus Canisius - the patron saint of half days and not making or receiving phone calls; formerly feast day of Thomas the apostle

  • In the Northern Hemisphere, the winter solstice, sometimes known as Yule, occurs on or very close to this date. In the Southern Hemisphere, the summer solstice occurs around this time. It is also an important festival in the Chinese calendar.

  • Yalda, originally a religious holiday for Zoroastrians, is now a social holiday in Iran.

  • A baktun of the Mesoamerican Long Count calendar will end and a new one will begin on December 21, 2012. Source: Wikipedia

The dear mother of five of our grandkids, Sue, and I exchanged email this morning about families. You have to work at them to make them work, she commented. I so agree.

We have four other grandchildren that we do not see. It’s a great sadness to me. But we offended them once by having them here and having their daughter Kay’s mother, my daughter Marie, here at the same time. Once again another year, G was overheard while leaving a Christian Mega church Christmas church service saying he thought a visiting pastor was inappropriately asking for money. G used the term “scam.” We haven’t seen them since.

Sue, is very tired of making a great effort year after year and getting nothing back. She sends letters and pictures, and gets nothing in return. I too feel just that way. This is the very first year that I haven’t sent a twenty dollar bill for each grandchild as a Christmas gift. I feel ugly that I didn’t make the gesture. I do get a thank you note from the mother, but I too am tired of not being welcomed and miss the chance to know the kids. I’m sorry we were something they did not want in their lives.

My tired response this year was to send them a letter with pictures. Not of us, but of Kay’s brother and sisters out here in the rest of the world punctuated by bare bones information….not opinions. There was a picture of my recovering daughter with her two year old Madge, and there was a picture of Anna, the five year old, who lives in Spain with her two father’s. There were pictures of Sue’s kids especially of Beth and Aaron. None of us. I didn’t want images of us to intrude on this door I was trying to wedge open. Always trying.

Many families are like ours. We have Christians, G’s brother, delightful wife and kids……grandkids too, belong to the LDS in Utah. Sue’s family, husband and five kids, are modern Christians in one of the large churches. How nice they all are. We have agnostics, atheists, Buddhists, and some that just celebrate renewal on this day of the Solstice, the “standing-still-sun” day. We all are what we are, and we all bend to the beliefs and foibles of the other members of our family. We are all truly blessed to be able to know each other.

I’m the tie in the middle that has made the effort to bind us in smiles, in laughter, in the joy of knowing each other. My dear G married into this troubled family that is now a joy. He now has a woman who call him dad, and grandchildren who have never known another grandfather. It did take work to crack open these doors of communication, and obviously it hasn’t always worked.

Beth asks if she will ever get to know Kay. She wants to have Kay as a part of her family. She doesn’t understand. I don’t understand rejection either, but I take the responsibility. On this holiday of new beginnings and “Standing-Still-Sun,” all I can do is pray that maybe an image I sent or something Sue said in a letter will reopen this family door. Perhaps in the end, it will take the next generation reaching out to each other to mend the communication gap and let the brother and sisters know each other.

I know from experience, that there are new beginnings are out there just waiting to be grasped.

Duck: While I worked, G made a long chatty visit with Duck. Duck got another Christmas Card from an old friend in his hometown. He remembered her well as well as all the information about their adopted child. He couldn’t remember who brought him his Christmas Tree, but was very clear about details in his past. He couldn’t remember where he ate, but he remembered his hometown very clearly.

Me: Yesterday was a very good day physically most of the day till the end. I did get to work and find I wasn’t expected. I had written down the names of both schedulers who scheduled me tho.

Heart Attack family member of Bee’s: Improved and moved to a room, took a turn for the worse, now on ventilator and paralyzed.

G: He really enjoyed his afternoon off even buying hamburger when there was some in the icebox.

Weather: 62 for the high. 42 for the low.


  1. Maybe the holiday season is the time of each year when we are most aware about how askew our blood family relationships are. Yet, it takes the rest of the year to show us who really is FAMILY. They are the people who willingly, generously share all of our mundane joys and sorrows. They are the people who embrace our weaknesses and strengths. It must be devastating not to share your life with your child or grandchildren. History under the bridge.

  2. *sigh* I hope that the New Years brings renewed relationships with those you miss. It is so hard. I too have and incredibly difficult, and very small family. So I now invite everyone who needs family to my home for the holidays and we become family too.

  3. Mage, please do join the woyopracmo? We could be "friends", what could be more fun than that. Seriously, I know that there are some very earnest yogi types, but they all seem to want us beginners at the tea party as well.

    I talked to a friend this evening about my kidney wrap and she says there is such a thing. I tend to use scarves. It's called, amazingly, a kidney wrap. Send me your snail address and I might just send you one! (virtualredtent yahoo com)

  4. Alic efrom WintersongDecember 25, 2007 at 12:45 PM

    Does Kay (is that the right name?) read this blog. I surely hope so, the post should make a big difference in her understanding. I would hope things change before it's too late and she suffers guilt pangs down the line.


What a delight to get a note from you. Thanks for leaving one.


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