| Herself: Knee better. Class with MK, took MK grocery shopping poor dear, said I’d take her to the doc’s next week if needed, worked on writing, Costco for bread and of course books. Today swim, poetry class/lunch, work on the writings, soup and corn bread for dinner. Food: Peas, cheese sandwich plus three cookies, hot dog and berry Sunday at Costco. |
- What am I going to do with the back packs, the purses that are really small back packs? I’m going to wear them out just as I have done with the last three or four I’ve owned. And, since they are suddenly unfashionable, I’m going to haunt the thrift stores for more of them. I now have a grey one and a brown one. I also have a mini-micro one too, but I will use it despite it’s size. Life is much easier when one has both hands free.
- Sometimes doggedly, I exercise. I’d rather be broadening my rear here, but moving has given me back to me. I cannot change G, but I cannot get him moving either, and I am haunted by the fact that he is overweight, has high PB, has all sorts of genetic risk factors, and doesn’t get off his ass and get moving. I’m really worried but have to let it go.
- What I can do is take care of me…..the laziest of all folks you know. I’m letting go the paving folks who didn’t take care of the driveway….that they patched and now floods our garage, I’m letting go of my words…….fuzzy or good, and I’m sending out thoughts, prayers, and mantras for everyone else everywhere. The first thing, I’m off to the pool. “I’ll be back.”
0904:
- I'm much encouraged that Chris Buckley is supporting Obama, but I think vastly less of his father's magazine for accepting his resignation. Tho his father, WFB, was a founder of modern conservativism, he was also a brilliant and flexible man. This was not the act of a flexible magazine.
- I am always reminded that I too need to be more flexible. Ba was again at the class, and I found her presence oppressive as the class was small and I was forced near her. She has friends there, and I continue to direct a pleasant remark her way every day. One day, I will have to ask her what I did that made me so toxic to her. Not yet tho. In the meantime her refusal to explain or talk is a weight.
1730:
- G reminds me that Ba warned me not to attend class..."I'll be here five days a week."...said to someone else not me. Then today the beyond freezing shoulder since I was there when she was. Silly me.
- The lunch poets recommended that I submit all four poems. No criticism. So I will. At lunch, brain scrambled because of the Ba wall, MB attempted to suggest that I could just go make a mark on paper....any color. I stubborn fool kept insisting I couldn't draw....no hand eye coordination left, couldn't hold a pen, true, and dug my feet in. It may be true but normally I don't act that alcoholic. Not me at all. I owe her an apology. Mea Culpa.
- Came home to find the good old paving boys hadn't fixed the driveway mess. I had enough sense to call G, who called the official manager who found a sideways way to deal with it. She sent our odd job man out to see it all, and he agreed with G and I. The paving guys are going to be very unhappy....they just should have fixed it two years ago.
There are whole days I spend with my foot in my mouth. More Latin. Carpe Diem.
'Don't really understand the Ba predicament, but I know you know that you can't control other people's actions and thoughts. You can learn to control your re-action however. So let Ba's problems be hers (his?), don't take them on yourself to worry about. I learned this from a disturbing incident with a neighbor 25 or 30 years ago and spent far too many miserable years trying to avoid eye contact with him. Finally after I learned to let go, I found out he was just as vulnerable as I was; I just didn't know it. Until then, it was a heavy burden to carry around.
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