Let’s face it, we all wear our clothes out. Weeks ago I wore a bra out. Suddenly I became aware that most of my underpinnings were tired and limp. Replacements were needed.
Now, you cannot exactly try on under pants. I can hear the objections now. Long ago I chose a generic fat lady size, and that’s what I buy. But bras have to be tried on. Even if you are a certifiable 36B, not all 36B’s are created alike.
One week, we went to JCPenney’s, and I stood in the middle of their gigantic bra section and was overwhelmed. Totally frozen in place by the choices. Next, I tried the fewer choices at Ross. Their bathroom was broken down, and I rushed home leaving my choices behind.
Last week I tried Ross for Bra’s again. I’d read my current bra label before I started, so I knew my size. I checked to make sure the bathroom was working for this IBS sufferer. There was always hope I would find an Olga. They fit wonderfully. I like color, so any color would do. The less bones the better too. And most importantly, do I need that generous layer of extra padding to smooth the finished look. Certainly not me….not at any weight.
So I chose four. You don’t have a lot of choices if you are in the larger sizes, so they were pretty bland. I didn’t rush home with these generic bras, I had enough sense to go try them on. One fit. The other three were beyond giant on me. There was actual air between me and the fabric. So I chose three more in a smaller size. Each time I stopped to get a ticket that said “4” in a big font size from the little Mexican lady at the dressing room door.
“Gracias,” I would say.
“De nada,” she would reply.
This time they were too small. Oh, they went around me comfortably, but the cups didn’t even think about covering the much larger sized me. 36B me had vanished far, far into the past. Back I went to the bra rack.
By this time I was getting pretty tired. All these pieces of fabric latch together in the back. I’m not capable of reaching around in back of myself and latching three or four hooks sight unseen…if I ever was, so I hook them together in the front. Comfortably. Then I slide this contraption around so the hooks are in back. It doesn’t slide easily. I struggle, I pull, and only after a great test of will, is the front centered and I can put my arms through the straps.
The third try was a success.
I came home to clean out my drawer, lining up the new and throwing away the old. My old wasn’t even fit to go to the Presbyterian Homeless project, but my underwear drawer was a success too.
My Tuesday was a success as I dealt with the humongous mass of papers for the taxes. I emailed the money man and now have a link to go paperless. This weekend we will sign up for the 2012 paperless us, and next year these masses won’t be so overwhelming. I’m assuming we can print the quarterlies and finals out for the tax folks if we need them. Our day was blessed by dinner with the Captain at the Loving Hut where we took over a table for hours of rich conversation. They forgot the Captain’s dinner and comped it, and we gave the waiter extra for monopolizing his four top for two hours. What a wonderful time with a friend.
As a little gift, may I share with you a link to Holiday's at the White house. I especially enjoyed the images of Christmas’s Past. Enjoy.
Holiday's at the White House