July 23, 2012

A Horrible Disease



Dementia is like having a big fuzzy dog in the middle of the living room and it can’t use its cell phone.



Himself:  Sent in report.  Back to work after the gym. 

Herself:  Back to work….ya know, that does sound good.  Take Grumpy to the body shop today too?

Reading:  Just finished the first of the Reporter Ali mysteries from JA Jance.  Well written.  Very sad how all her latest have gone downhill.

Balance:   Listening to a very scrappy speaker last night who spoke of the past in the present.  Riveting.

Prompted by our dialogue Saturday night, the J2’s drove out to Dolly’s house yesterday afternoon after attempting to phone all day.  The dog was out barking in the yard, and they could hear a voice telling the dog to be quiet.  They pounded on the door but didn’t get an answer.  They couldn’t get in the back yard because of the fence.

Nothing deters the J2’s.  They drove off to get their youngest son, a large strapping young man named Ted, who clambered over the fence and fended off the dog. 

Dolly finally realized that someone had been banging on her back door, let Ted and the J’s in.  She didn’t know what the date was, she was very disjointed, and she didn’t realize anything was wrong much less that she had missed dinner with the Feasters.  The J’s finally got a neighbor’s phone number out of her, one who is on vacation, but not that of a doctor or one of her kids. 

G reminded me that I had suggested two months ago that she go see her doctor.  She didn’t.  I don’t think she is able to.  Is it a med.  We don’t know.

There is a Senior Abuse hot line here in our city, but what do you do when the Senior doggedly refuses to leave her home.  One of the Jay’s will phone the hot line today and ask about the protocol.

My mother was descending into dementia, but she had a husband who babysat her.  She died before needing a nursing home.  Both G’s mom and dad were all there when they died.  We only realized late that Duck was in trouble when he fell, and after a brief hospitalization we let him return home with supervision.  This didn’t work out, but we tried.  Dolly is unknowingly in deep trouble and none of us know what to do. 

9 comments:

  1. That's very sad. It's harder when no one has been overseeing the problem. My friend Gloria (the 91-year-old Geezerette) has just been moved to a senior facility by the guy with her power of attorney. It has taken about 20 years to get her there.

    My husband's dementia is not as troublesome as his COPD, but the nursing home staff often treat him as if he's not there. That's why my daughter visits him regularly and I phone the nurses or the social worker.

    There have been occasions of people assuming it's dementia when they don't know he's hard of hearing.

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  2. That's a hard one. I am so sorry for everyone involved here. Holding you in my thoughts, sweetie.

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  3. This is a tough call. I remember my grandmother who failed to know me when I visited her. Her second husband stayed with her as long as he could, but when he died, she was put in a nursing home by my aunt. She live to her mid ninties.

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  4. How awful. My mom has dementia, not alzheimer's, but my sister lives with her at Mom's house and cares for her. I would love to stay at my home until death, rather than live in a nursing home, if I were incapacitated.

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  5. These situations are never easy. Most of the time they don't get help until a crisis arises and it look's like Dolly's crisis has arrived. I'll be interesting in knowing what kind of help she gets. You're a good person Charlie Brown. Keep that caring side of your personality polished. It shines bright.

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  6. With many people never having children and others living lives greatly removed from busy self-absorbed children, this is going to be more common among us baby-boomers as we age. There must be some rules or protocol, maybe "Time Goes By" has an entry on this?

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  7. It's a sad situation when you have to fight with the person in need to give them some quality of life. I hope you can find a way to assist her that she will be happy with...Good luck to all of you and your caring friends.

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  8. What a tough situation. I'm glad she has friends like you that will try. Perhaps Social Services has come advice?

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  9. We had the same problem with a neighbor and actually had to find a relative to come and pick her up. It was so sad. You are very kind to try to think of a way to help. It's a hard situation. Sometimes there's a city hotline where a social worker can come to help.

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