May 30, 2013

Time

Compressed.

Time has been compressed.  You know how it goes.

No, I don’t know how the conversation started.

“I have about fifteen to seventeen years left.  I want to spend them as comfortably as I can doing as much as I can,” I told her.

“Why would you say that,” she answered truly upset.  “I don’t even think about it.”

“Because it’s true.  There’s things I want to do, and there’s only so much time.”

What I didn’t say was that time seems to be flying by at light speed for me these days.  I was surprised that she was scandalized.  Upset.  Time must be standing still for her….perhaps she’s staying always in the now because her husband is so ill.  With my much slowed down body, I am very aware that my life is finite.  Of course, I wish I wasn’t, but there it is.  Seeing my ex-husband, someone I once so passionately loved, someone my age so near death, made time seem even more precious.

The conversation stays in my mind. 


  • Keeping those on the Midwest and east coast in my thoughts.
  • Himself:  Really enjoying work.
  • Herself:  Very busy day yesterday so will slow down a bit today.  Less Aleve….my stomach didn’t like two days in a row of it.
  • Reading:  Brought home two books, but haven’t started anything.
  • Balance:  Sitting in my big soft chair downstairs.
  • Find me:  If there are problems on OD, you can find me here at http://urban-archology.blogspot.com/>Postcards
  • on Blogger.  Or you can copy and paste this address into your browser: http://urban-archology.blogspot.com/ 

    8 comments:

    1. You may know that I read the obituaries from my hometown online. For a while, there were a lot of people from my high school years...and then they stopped. Now every one I read is either much younger or much older.

      I never thought I would get this far. You just keep on going, remembering those who leave us, and do the best you can.

      ReplyDelete
    2. It's flying for me, too. So very, very quickly.

      I think grief does that to us, though -- compresses time -- strands us right in stasis.

      ReplyDelete
    3. I'm with you on this one. A lot of people seem to fear reality.

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    4. Me too, I can't help but look at that time span and think "is this how I want to spend the time I have left?"

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    5. It is so very precious. I am looking closely at those things too.

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    6. And so I wonder daily about "spending" my life. Every moment is a casually spent penny until you realize the account is dwindling and will never be replenished. Gaze at the trees or gaze at the tv? Dust the woodwork or call a friend? Enjoy the cheesecake or opt for the stewed prunes?

      ReplyDelete
    7. A very nice flow in the comments today. My gramma always said you need to look at your fears straight on to overcome them. She was speaking at the time about "horn- or tobacco-worms." It's just as true about our end--a fact of life--the sooner we face it, the sooner we can back to enjoying whatever time we have left!

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    8. I don't think about it except to wonder if I will ever read all the books I want to read! But the idea of just enjoying what time is left is good except I worry that the money won't last long enough either. LOL

      ReplyDelete

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    SORTING

    Portland Union station Work has been sorted, and I’m home to sort my own things now.  I’ve gained roundness.  G says we are Mr. and ...