September 29, 2013

The Day's Of Our Lives

We begin to gather.  Fort Rosecrans National Cemetery, 2013.

Daughter Margot called this morning. 

“How are you?”  I asked.

“I’m getting used to being not OK,” she replied.  “I forgot my phone.” 

She will head home after the celebration for her Pop. 

I’m getting a little like that too.  Getting used to the all pervasive sadness.

Lots of Michael’s friends from the airline, his second family, were there.  Lots of Bobbie’s friends and all her family but one brother were there.  We suffered through a long-winded, but gentle pastor, enjoyed glorious sunshine, were surprised at no gun salute, yes to a flag that went to Michael’s son.  All the usual and most of us hovering in black.

No one writes about funerals.  No one photographs funerals.  Bobbie wanted pictures.

Family and friends gathered at a sister’s beach-town home.  Lovely home.  I sat for a while with Number 2….I’m Number 1, and Number 3 is having a memorial service this weekend for her husband.  We two mourn him in our own ways.  Though he was my youth, this day we made jokes about our Numbers while appreciating Michael in our lives.

Saturday the family disagreements began.  We listened over brunch then then we went back to the cemetery and laid a wreath sent by the back east family.  We sent her off with love.

Left:  The trumpet for Taps.  Right: Folding the flag.

Left:  The beautiful table.  Right:  Number 2, Paz, and Daughter Margot.

Left: Bobbie and G.  Right:  A wreath.

Below us, not one but two air ports.  Perfect for the air plane guy.


  1. Looks like it was a lovely celebration of Michael. You're right that not many people write about funerals, but I'm glad you did. Funerals are a part of life, those gone and those left behind. It's sad that family disagreements often occur at a time when people should only be comforting each other. I'm glad you're choosing to focus on the more beautiful aspects of the final farewell.

  2. I like what Kay wrote. I like what you wrote too; it was an important day, commemorating Michael, and you've given us the feel of it. Thank you.

  3. I've always said that funerals bring out the worst in people. Hope you get a break from the sadness soon.

  4. I took some photos of where we put my mother's and father's ashes. No funeral!

  5. What beautiful pictures. You're right. No one takes photos at funerals, but I am glad you did.

  6. We have no photos and no funeral. The arguing broke out anyway. I think its issues other than the funeral that causes the dissent. Hope some peace is restored soon and I wish you all resilience and peace of heart.

  7. Will check out your posts today. Where do you get all this energy? David taking wonderful care of me,


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