G bringing down the Christmas decorations for the new tree from the awkward over the closet storage, 2007.
It’s an errand kind of day:
- Take the shoes back: Those stylish new shoes from Nordies, the “we only carry more comfortable shoes now, shoes,” hurt my feet. I wore them for four hours at work yesterday at the library, and they are not a success. My next to the little toes hit the end. I’ve never returned a pair of shoes, but these were so expensive that I wanted to take them back. G, who never saves receipts, saved the one for these shoes. I can honestly tell them that I wore the shoes twice, and they are good for one hour but not four.
- More Shoes: Once I get them returned, I need to walk to the other end of the mall to Penney’s and have them order, find, tell me, where I can buy a pair of either Easy Spirit or Hush Puppy’s in wide black 10’s or 11’s. Nine’s don’t make it as I told the salesman. I want comfort and conservative style. Did I really say that?
- Groceries: Which includes some form of fast, easy, low fat, and low calorie meals for breakfast, lunch, and dinners. Did I ever tell you that I used to love to cook. Perhaps those days of huge crowds around the dinner tables every night in that decade of political and environmental action did me in. I’m part of the “I hate to cook” crowd now. This is compounded by the fact that I am very overweight and spent $11.11 on a meal I cooked at home last night. What? Have grocery prices grown that much? Rhetorical, obviously. Ah well.
- Laundry: It’s my turn. G often does the laundry, and today is my turn. I was supposed to do it yesterday, but by the time I headed off to the library only one load was done. By bed time, the second load was done but not dry. Ah, guilt. LOL
- Take the “big-old-green-quilt,” our seasonal defense against the dark, to a laundrymat with book in hand. Those pesky dust mites are winning, and every morning since we started using it, my eyes wake watering and swollen. I easily deduced the culprits.
- Felt: I’m the proud owner of a very good old dresser. For years I’ve had a box for my watches, a bowl for my bracelets, and another bowl for my hair clips. I like hair clips and bars in silvers and golds et al. What a mess that has all made. Confusion too. At Target last week, I was looking for a basket to replace all three containers. Instead, I found a silverware tray that’s a basket. It works perfect. No more clutter. All the silver stuff is together……ditto the brass….ditto the hair stuff too, and it’s all easily found. The box is rough on the bottom, so I have to go to that most hated of stores, Joanne’s, and buy a piece of black felt to cover the tray.
- Dentist: TMI: A cancer sore on one side is now balancing that toothache on the other. I’m in agony and don’t have time for this. Did I say that?
- Meds: (The bad news.) Well, I need to reup on any low meds at Kaiser. This is compounded by the fact that I seem to have lost a box. They don’t put the prescription info in the bottle anymore, they put it all on the box. Normally I am hyper careful about saving the prescription info, but the one for my nasal polyp spray has vanished. Oh poor me. So I need to actually go in person to Kaiser. And I might as well take any other prescriptions that are low with me at the same time. Our Kaiser ends in 30 some days. G’s company says Kaiser has raised their costs to high and they won’t be using them any more. We are going with Aetna and back to Scripps. Overall, this will run us about 80 a month higher.
- Clipboard: I need to buy a clipboard. My buck fifty work clipboard was left behind at work Saturday. I musta been pooped. But now I need a new one. Better too. Office Depot, ho.
- Write: Write here, write about the trip, work on a poem for the Thursday group. Stop sitting on my ass and get those little grey cells working while not writing a ditty starting with “Clickty Clack.” Ah, yes.
So there I am. The first load is going around. The timer is set for last night’s load that is in the dryer, this is done, and I can call the dentist at eight. I’ve actually written this list on a pad so I can take it with me when I go and not forget anything. I was very “blond,” as they called me at work on Sunday, dropping this and forgetting how to do that, but today I seem very functional. Or should we wait and see.
Duck: The rest of the staff is getting into the game with Duck’s imaginary dog Plaid. I often hear, “Plaid did it,” in the halls now. Then everyone laughs including us.
Me: Considering baseball for next year. How tired do I want to be at the end of each day. That was a very busy day yesterday. Today will be busier. Yes, I am reading you but seem short on time to note. I care tho.
G: Work, then broke the bad news to me when he got home. One of the men we knew three jobs ago died. Lot Scott had an aneurism and died at the hospital. He was vastly younger than the two of us.
Who People Are: (A request which I will leave up for a little while.)
G: Dear husband. The man who came to dinner in 1983.
Duck: A man I met while sun tanning on the beach in 1972. He twelve stepped me into AA, and we are friends and caretakers now that he has dementia and is in a nursing home.
Marie: Oldest Daughter who is in recovery and raising one daughter MA, 3.
Lenore: Second Daughter who is raising daughter Mohave, 14.
Bee: Old friend and Sponsor.
Ba: Close friend who I talk with every Monday morning.
Grandkids: There are 14, and the eldest girl is in Bagdad, while the youngest lives in Escondido. There is even one five year old growing up in Spain, Anna.
Friends: There is a cast of a few, and for them, like Kay in Northern California or Cee, in Oregon, I am very grateful.
Family: My immediate family has died. I do have two first cousins, one of whom I am in contact with often, “Cuz T.” G has a delightful brother and his wife who live in Utah. They have truly brilliant kids who have delightful kids of their own too.
The darkness of violence and of anger
Soaking into my soul
Feels as though it's all I will ever know
The darkness keeps coming no ending in sight
I want to have so much more
I got it
More in my life more in my soul
All this happiness all this light
Surrounding me and mine
No more anger
No more violence
No more pain
No more darkness
I know so much more
I never want to go back
Never again will that darkness come to me or be in me or mine.