G: Got his appallingly expensive professional Photoshop installed in his antique work computer, and has begun powering through cars, trucks, trains, and planes when his computer isn’t crashing. Meeting after dinner. We learned our old friend Phil had gone home to Ireland to die of pancreatic cancer two weeks ago. I felt bereft. He sounded so good last time we talked. He had twenty some years of sobriety.
G’ette: Never got to the store, but got the skirt done, not right tho, and the quilt blocks sewn and pressed. New iron died. “Just get a new one,” said G. “Do you know how much this one cost????!!!!” I said.
Weather: Fog, more fog, then continuing fog until the sun comes out through the fog and the fog returns.
Menus: I tried Mrs. SoCalFrank’s sandwich, and it was great stuff. Dinner: Canned chili, cornbread, slaw. Embarrassing but quick. Tonight, quesadilla and salad.
“In the Ziploc with your deodorant. It’s just ugly. They don’t do this anywhere else in the world. Even with El Al, they vet you before you get on the plane. I’m to the point that I can’t even look at them when I go through security. I turn into a grumph the moment I get to security. They hire the lowest denominator for this job, I swear. Don’t talk to them either. I know you are always cheerful. Just don’t talk to them. It will make it all worse.”
“One quart size bag only?” I asked bringing the topic back around to “stuff.”” “What do I put around my shoes? I usually pop them in Ziplocks. And can’t I say good morning, or thank you…...”
“Put them inside your socks, and no, don’t say a word.”
I started making notes. “I hope I can read these later.” And who knows if I can. They go every-which-way all over a lined yellow pad. I scribbled as she talked.
“Your laptop is considered a separate bag. If you take a hanging bag, put it in the hanging bag. Then it is one. And no water…..”
“What? No water? You mean I have to go through security then buy a bottle of their vastly expensive water on the other side?” I only thought about lunch after I hung up. I’ll have to call her back later.
“Put your pills in one of those little box things marked Monday-Tuesday….and put that in your purse.”
I thought we were supposed to leave our meds in the original packaging?” Gee, what a mess.
“Most important of all, take a 3x5 card with you and on it list everything you are going to take off. Everything. After you go through security, check and make sure you got everything you took off back on. When you get off the plane, before you leave make sure you have everything on that check list with you. I lost a favorite scarf I bought in Paris by not using my check list. You know I will never get that back.”
“Nope, I’d spend an hour getting all my earrings off if they wanted that.”
As she has flown many more miles than Carter has Little Liver Pills. I’m forced to believe her. We can take one carry on each plus a purse which must not resemble a backpack.
I don’t think our hanging bag meets their requirements of “…45 inches (length + width + height). It must fit easily in our SizeWise® unit (approximately 22"x14"x9"),” they tell us. I move into the 21st century at the speed of a snail wondering what else I need to know to survive a weekend in Vernal, Utah.
Flying Basics: Security
Delta Baggage Allowances:
Food and Beverage Service: I’ll bring it from home