June 24, 2009


Work gloves; photographed at the swapmeet. June 2009.

Himself: Counting the days: 5 days….maybe. They let an unscheduled 12 more people go yesterday; they hadn’t even told them they were going. It was an error…yet there it is. It’s doom and gloom at work he told me. Applied for a similar job in La Jolla. Applying online sure eases the process, but they can’t see how competent he is in person.

Herself: Drawing fractionally better in class. Very slow. Ambivalent about G’s computer decisions. Have to tell Marta that we can afford her only once a month starting July….until G gets a new job. Will she understand me is the problem.

Reading: One and a half more Dresden’s to go.

Balance: Not minding cooking dinner early yesterday. Usually I do.

By saving five hundred dollars on Grumpy’s budgeted repairs, G decided that he could replace my computer. I’m ambivalent about this.

Oh, his arguments are all valid. This 32 bit XP Gateway is truly an antique….maybe nearing ten years old. By moving my giant hard drive over to a new one, am I not just replicating my existing problems? It’s a good idea to copy the contents of my HD to a new one, but will I be bringing my problems with me. Unless we do this, it’s not economical to replace the existing computer.

You know when a computer is tired. Mine has taken to half closing things. Or even half opening things….and there it halts. There’s one button in the “My Computer” program that freezes everything if pushed. For years I’ve just worked around this “beyond-Windows-annoyance” by going back and starting the program all over again just to find something that’s stashed one folder away from where I started. But sometimes I forget. You can hear me at the ends of the earth when I get stuck in this little problem.

There’s a lot of these little wear factors that have added up to High Speed/Slo-Mo me. My pictures are stashed in the “My Computer” section of the HD. My JPG’s have begun a quiet little war with my antique Word…and again things sometimes come to an abrupt halt when I am working. My chip overheats. My Word was designed in 1998….tho it is called Word 2003.

My argument is valid too. He’s losing his job in five days in the middle of a depression. We may have money we can spend on a new computer, even a new used computer, but is it wise to do this right now. One computer equals six weeks of food. That’s the bottom line. Not only am I a pessimist, I’m paranoid in my old age.

Then again, yesterday Himself found a one year old, still sealed in its box, 32 bit, dual core Gateway for $350.00. A new Word…..and the new program is compatible with all the old ones which is great progress, will be another $125.00.

Himself the optimist bought the computer.


  1. I feel your ambivalence. You sound like me and G like my hubby...miz pessimistic and mr. optimist. Let me remind you, however, that this too ... will pass. Nothing lasts forever, not even this depression.

  2. I did some looking online about the new computer. It is a "business" computer and was at the top end of the scale. Originally sold for between $1158 and $1578. I think we actually got a good deal. The machine was designed to run multiple resource hungry programs and to basically never be shut off.
    Here is a link. At the bottom of the page, we got the left hand one with the 80g HD.
    Muchas Smuchas
    Yer Geeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee

  3. I'm an optimist, too. I'm glad you have a new computer and an optimistic fella. What more could you ask for? I know, I know, an income would be a nice addition to those blessings.

  4. My computer is also 10 years old, very unreliable and unpredictable. It will shut down in the middle of my work and then I have to start all over again having lost what there was. It is good you have a new computer, how nice of your husband to keep your spirits up. Just live each day. Solutions will come...they always do.

  5. I am glad you have the new old computer. It will all be ok. It always is. You are going to enjoy it.

  6. Oh, yes I will after I kick start myself into optimism several times.

    Thank you all for caring.

  7. Loving the descriptions and dilemmas of Himself the optimist, and Slo Mo you. :)

    Art, care, a personal touch, and life is our future, I am convinced of it. We just have to figure out how to get there.


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Peter in front of a wall sculpture. We were invited up to Peter Knego’s home to see the latest installation.   Abstract flat ...