June 13, 2009

Not Saturday Lite

Golf club shafts in a row. Koby’s Swap Meet, June, 2009.

Himself: Being very kind to herself. Counting the days for himself.

Herself: Very angry about youngest daughter. Actually cannot talk to her now tho I did on the phone yesterday twice during the drug testing.

Reading: Another numbered Dresden. You would think I’d grow tired of these, but I haven’t yet….but for the two mundane ones in the middle.

Balance: I’ll find it.

  • She had to have looked in the mirror and seen what was happening. She had to have known the end was coming. She had to have seen the writing on the wall. One cannot stay up day after day and night after night on drugs and not think that your employer would notice and order a drug test. Just when her still drinking husband is scouting for a new job and home in Oregon, she was fired from her job. She says it wasn’t her fault. Good old denial in action. I worry most about her daughter being removed from all her support groups and systems right when things are working well at last despite the hormones.

  • We keep going to meetings to alter our own thinking. Reconnecting with old friends that we haven’t seen in a while. Counting our blessings…..one of which is that our medical coverage will continue for a month. I refuse to count the days, I try not to worry, and like G agree that being let go immediately is a blessing instead of this long, slow goodbye.

  • The re-finance has gone to the escrow company at last. Hopefully we will hear from them and sign papers this coming week. This “longest re-fi in the world” has made me cynical and paranoid. It left him wishing they had told us that it was going to be a 90 day. They didn’t communicate well, and we feel it went through despite them.

  • No geographicals at this house. What’s a geographical? It’s a bit of AA slang that describes folks who run far, far away from their problems thinking distance will solve them. My youngest will be doing a geographical. We will not.

    Yes, there are jobs in Utah and LA that G not only qualifies for and would get if he applied. We would have to put everything in storage, paint the condo to rent it, then move away from home to places neither of us want to live. We are not to that point yet. No financial desperation here yet either. In two weeks we may be in a panic, but today we are not. My retirement income will cover the mortgage and basic bills. We have a lot of luxurious fluff we can cut too, but not yet.

  • June Gloom continues tho the meteorologists say that the sun will be out somewhere in our town. I continue on my quest to simplify surfaces here at home. He continues to read his DMV Class A and B driver’s handbook. There is laundry to be done and hugs given.

    It’s a Balboa Park afternoon where he will go to one museum and I another. It will be a three day weekend too with sun out somewhere. He’s taking another Monday off….and this next Friday too, as he whittles away at his remaining two weeks sick leave. He hopes that they will pay the few remaining days when they let him go when they wouldn’t pay the full two weeks. The long, slow off-shoring of life continues.


  1. Oh, Maggie, I wish things were better for you. I hope the refi will lower your payments. We did one which just matched the increase in property taxes. The wayward daughter is a tough one. I had one of those -- she seems to have improved, but it's always precarious. She does risky things. Now she's in Georgia. Not the State, the Republic! Enjoy the museum. I made a print one time I called "Balboa Park". It was a fantasy on a photo I took there.

  2. I admire your mix of tenaciousness and courage. May the next weeks bring a miracle of employment and/or financial security into your household. So sorry to hear about your daughter and her daughter. I'll pray for them. Thinking of you with much affection, Lia

  3. Ditto what Lilalia and 20th century woman said!


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Peter in front of a wall sculpture. We were invited up to Peter Knego’s home to see the latest installation.   Abstract flat ...