July 23, 2009


Joan with her daughters Sallie and Kay. Bottom: Kay’s cousin and Kay’s daughter Fern, 1981.

Himself: Yesterday: He even managed two solid hours of job hunting and a couple applications before a day with the sisters. Swim, thrift stores, eat dinner by the bay. Found new T-shirt. Today: Swim, job hunt, funeral.

Herself: Yesterday: Swam, meet Kay and Sallie at the Chula Vista DAV, and shop, visit the cemetery, shop, shop, and eat. Yes, we were all pooped, but this is their time to get a big thrift store shopping trip in. Bought a skirt for the funeral today. Today: Swim, blog, funeral.

Balance: Sitting later and just talking with these special friends.

Today is both Loretta’s memorial service and Joan’s funeral many months after her death. I personally cannot do both. I know Loretta understands, but I hope my writing and poetry friends understand why I am not with them. I deeply mourn the loss of Loretta’s strong and meaningful voice in the world, and I so hope her family publishes her writing.

Loretta with Marion B. at Nati’s, 2009.

Yesterday, G and I tagged along with Joan’s daughters, Kay and Sallie, from the DAV to Amvets to Holy Cross where the final measurements were made and the papers signed to another Amvets. By the end of the day, Sallie was reduced to monosyllabic remarks while her sister Kay devolved into a lay-on-the-floor person. I just enjoyed their company despite the sad reason for their visit.

I met them both when PAH, my first husband, and I were attending Southwestern College in the 1960’s. They became our friends, and we became a part of their extended family. Their mother Joan, who lived on Coronado for 45 years, raised her two brilliant daughters to be strong and resilient with the unique ability to be flexible with their creativity.

G and I also cared for Joan, and I knew her mother, Mommie May. Eight years ago, the Coronado house was sold, and Joanie went north to live near Carrie. Slowly she faded away until she died earlier this year. Today Joanie is being buried next to her mother and father at Holy Cross Cemetery.

We are glad to be there at any time for these two special sisters and wish we could do more.

Top: Joanie with Sallie at the Coronado house, 2003. Bottom: Sallie and Kay at Pizza Nova, 2009.


  1. I think I'd mind getting old a lot less if I didn't keep losing friends.

  2. Yes, it starts getting lonely as we advance in age, so sad.


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Here are a few of the delightful Steampunk folks enjoying the alternative world the museum offered this night.   So glad I could go.  ...