April 19, 2010

Anticipation




On this day of anticipation, I offer you images of The STAR OF INDIA tied up at the embarcadero and sailing off the point, 2008.



National Poetry Month: Today I found a list of American Women Poets where you might find a word or two you might like.

Himself: Swam, job hunting, lunch, walk, job hunting, dinner.

Herself: Swam, wrote, tooth, wrote. Ommmmmmmmmmm.

Reading: “All the Weirs of Pern.”

Gratitude: Anticipation.

Many drunks have bad teeth. I was one of them. Even as a child, I never saw a reason I should brush my teeth. Something in my brain was always short circuited about my teeth. I arrived in the army with a beginning cavity, and over the years grew giant cavities that flowed into giant fillings in all my teeth right at the gum line.

Once I grew up and sobered up, the short circuit about myself vanished. No one takes better care of her teeth than me now. They are cleaned every six months, and the troublesome back teeth are cleaned more often if needed. I brush the five minutes a day needed. I floss…more than once a day. Sometimes I even brush more than the recommended five minutes a day.

Not only do I doggedly stay on top of my teeth….what a great image. If asked what’s important by a newcomer in AA, I tell them to brush their teeth. Ah reality.

My teeth have been keeping me humble the last two weeks. Or, not having that front tooth has kept me humble.

Every time I open my mouth, I am aware of how fragile one’s self image is. I find myself apologizing for my broken front tooth constantly. Never thinking about staying home, I’ve been out there with my mouth open and endlessly annoying everyone with my groveling. Oh, I’m good in one way. I haven’t said where I broke my tooth tho many at the local AA Spring Round Up wouldn’t mind, but I have used the words Conference.

“I was at a conference and bit down on a piece of bacon,” I say repeatedly often hiding my mouth with a hand.

I’m so over it, as MJ would say. Today I get a post and a temporary tooth. Oh heaven. I no longer have to be such an endless embarrassment to myself while wearing out my welcome with friends with my groveling and by waving my feelings of low self worth and newcomerishness in front of me as a flag.

Oh silly me.


The star on her third or forth trip back to sea. We did not sail out with her that year, but we watched her progress from the top of the point. 2003.

7 comments:

  1. Something about losing a tooth makes us feel very vulnerable and silly. Too many slapstick movies where the hillbilly or hick has a blackened tooth. It's hard to get over and I think you've done a wonderful job of keeping your spirits up.

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  2. Hope all goes well today and you feel much better about yourself when it is over.

    It's hard not to be self conscious about a front tooth.

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  3. Goes along with those nightmares we all have about loosing our teeth! I think a broken tooth carries lots of bad image baggage and that is why we are more self-conscious than if it was a cut or bruise on our face.

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  4. A big smile! I chipped my front tooth, I would rather not say why, but it was an abusive boyfriend when I was 23 who hit me. Its been repaired, but always a reminder.

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  5. Just found your blog....love it! My son, an actor lost several of his front teeth in an accident that was not his fault. Very traumatic. His personality changed completely. After several surgeries, his smile is back, and it is a wonderful sight to see!!

    SMILE!!!!

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  6. I feel your pain all too well. Sigh. It's a HUGE issue right now for me.

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  7. Does any kid ever believe tooth brushing is necessary, Mage? I didn't. And about "aware of how fragile one’s self image is", being bald is a daily reminder for me too. I hate anyone seeing my egg shaped head! You'll look beautiful real soon when everything is finished.

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