March 13, 2011

I Worry

Grandkids Dan and Mary.

Yesterday and Today
Himself: Today is a taxing day even if the Key 1099 hasn’t arrived. He reached his friend in Maui who’s fine but doesn’t own a computer. Museum was dead yesterday. Donuts for a taxing day this morning.

Herself: Finished the latest essay. Mended, read, did small things that make me smile and read more of Stephanie Plum. SDSU beat BYU….basketball polarizes this family. Two nephews have just moved their families to the west coast.

Ran into Grandkids Dan and Mary’s parents’ at IKEA last night. We drove over to get a visually small lamp to go next to the Morris Chair. We found one and found them too. They were buying stuff to “stage” their house for sale. He hasn’t had any work for so long that they are selling their dreams.

Lenora is selling her dream.

Lessa isn’t selling hers, she’s just starting on a new dream. Me? I’d love to sell this condo and buy a one story something. What are these dreams that tie us to a piece of earth? With this economy, I am just grateful to own a tiny bit of land near the sea. When the big one hits, it will probably all collapse on top of Grumpy and vanish. Ah, an actuality.

The reality right now is that I have all these grandkids, and I know many of them have never met each other. First cousins in a small family divided by alcoholism and opinions. I worry. Mohave and Kay look much alike, but have they met? I don’t think so. Beth, Aaron, and Sally look alike. They’ve never met. Sally’s dads took their dreams to Spain. More economic factors keep me away from Spain to California and my three story condo.

We can’t stop dreaming. Gotta keep the hope moving, keep the energy jolting along, keep ourselves truckin’ even if it means climbing stairs, and we especially need to transcend our own thinking with love. But still I worry.

Beth and Aaron.


  1. It is so easy to worry. What we wanted to give as our legacy, what we managed, is not always the same. Those who were so deserving of our love, and those we recklessly gave it to... our lives are so far from being perfect. Yet, you do touch people with your life, with this post. That is good.

  2. I know...I worry, too Just want everyone to be happy. I guess that I need to let their destinies lead them. My worry does nothing but age me.

  3. It's too bad they have never met. In Hawaii, there is no excuse as we all live on a very tiny island. Since my house is the biggest, we all get together here for the major holidays.

    However, there is one nephew in California, whom we have not seen in over 10 years. And there is a nephew in Bali, whom we have not seen in 10 years also. Wish they would pay us a visit soon.

  4. We've got 21 steps between the 1st and 2nd floors at our house. We rather like it because it forces us to have the exercise of climbing up and down every day. Granted, I make our trips count.

  5. When it all comes down to it, family is the one thing that we should be able to count on in this life. It is sad that your grandchildren are separated. But as they become old enough to make decisions for themselves, perhaps things will change.

  6. Maybe some day the cousins will meet. I found out about five years ago that I have cousins living on the Washington Coast that I'd didn't even know existed. You never know.

  7. It's so sad that the cousins have not met, but I understand how families are divided over things that are difficult to manage. I have this in my own family, and it breaks my heart. Maybe someday when the kids decide for themselves they can make the changes.

  8. I keep telling myself not to worry about things I can't change...but I don't always listen.

    I keep family trees up to date when I can. I remind my daughter, on FB, to wish her cousin SL a happy birthday because they share the day. Neither of us has ever met SL, who lives in Israel.

    It's one of the few useful things about FB.


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