July 6, 2012

Guilt






Himself:  Worked hard yesterday.  He also made time to download a free online phone service to his computer.  Now when angry folks call, the call goes through to the office not his cell.


Herself:  Took new glasses back.  Finished rewriting the LA trip into an essay about friendship.  Read it to class.  They liked it.  I don’t know if it is strong enough.  The new browser allows me to go places and do things I haven’t been able to do in years.  I had thought it was something wrong with my computer.  Feeling guilty that I read while he worked.  Lessa’s Christmas present arrived.

Reading:  Finished the Castillo “Going Missing.”  A very well written yet horrifying look into the life of an Amish murder.  Yes, I will read the rest in that series.

Balance:  Reading as usual.

The age difference between G and I has surfaced again this time in a different light.  Sometimes it’s things like wrinkles or energy, this time it’s retirement.  He over-works striving to be the best he can.  I’m retired and not only a slob but a sedentary one.

When he was out there on the road, tho I knew he was over achieving, I didn’t see it.  Now that he’s at home, there he is, right next to me, his incomprehensible charts filling his monitors and his time filled with making sure everybody has the right info in those charts.  Once I’ve written what I am going to produce for the day, entered the photos from the store, or read a few of you, I leave my computer.  No matter where I am in the house after that, I am aware that he is upstairs working hard.

Over the years, I have perfected being lazy.  My allergies to dust encourage me to let someone else dust my house.  No matter the meds I take, dust slows me down.  My laziness extends to cooking.  Not only did I cook my way through college the first four years, I’ve been preparing meals since I was a kid.  That’s almost seventy years of cooking.  My recently discovered joy in eating out has now been tempered by my newly gained width…his too.  So now I am perfecting the art of the lazy meal. 

If we are eating at home, I start the entre, perhaps a baked potatoe or squash, then retreat to my chair and read.  Oh, I set a timer.  Otherwize I read right through the potatoe.  Perhaps there’s a roasted or steamed veggie.  I like eating it, but being lazy I even begrudge the time to pop the veggies in the broiler. 

Usually right at five, the Geezer will come down the stairs calling out, “Honey I’m home.”  We laugh.  The laughter doesn’t make me feel any better about the core of laziness that feeds my guilt. 

It’s a good thing I am only home two full weekdays anymore.  If I were home all day every day, think of the guilt I could work up.    

13 comments:

  1. When I was in your shoes -- more or less -- I made myself crazy trying to plan meals that my husband would eat. I finally "evaporated the cloud" by telling him I was on a diet and that we weren't going to eat the same thing. (And I still satisfied him better than the nursing home does.)

    I am so glad that you have a companion who goes with you, rather than against, and that you can enjoy your time together.

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  2. Geezer is a gem. He is happy over-achieving. Trust me. I know.

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  3. You are guilty about two days of laziness??? Come on. That is just recharging the engines.

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  4. I know just what you mean about cooking. I am gradually simplifying my own cooking. Fast Food: a small steak (hamburger, pork chop, chicken breast) cooked on the gas grill, baked potato, sliced tomatoes and cucumber. Nice meal, no pots and pans, just 2 dishes to wash. It's actually better than going out to dinner -- the food's better and you don't have to get dressed and go somewhere. What you need to do, Madge, (and so do I -- why am I preaching what I don't practice?) is learn to enjoy sloth.

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  5. That is an interesting situation. I'll have to think about that. I've never lived with a husband that worked from home, and never worked from home myself.

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  6. As David is 12 years older than me, I worked for many years after he retired. He hated it too, but we got through it and both are retired now.

    I've been cooking a long time too. This recently renewed interest in cooking for WW meals forced me to clean out my spices. Some of them had expired in 2004. One had expired in 1995. Now that's bad isn't it? Dianne

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  7. Embrace the down time, enjoy the books, take a nap, listen to your heart, watch the birds. G. is enjoying his work and it gives you things to discuss. When you are both retired, then it can become boring if you have nothing new to say.

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  8. I think everything I could add to the conversation has been said. Just one thing occurs to me though, G being the overachiever and all...will he be equally adept at learning to be lazy when the time comes. It's a very worthwhile skill at our age; don't knock it!

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  9. You have earned every single minute of your paltry two days per week of "sloth". Enjoy every second of it, guilt free. PLEASE!

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  10. I confess I like to eat out too. It's good to have an over-achiever around. My husband is like Geezer, except that it's also in the exercise department. He's always trying to get me to get out and walk. There's where the guilt comes in for me.

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  11. PS I looked at Ronnie's post and think the survey she discusses does have some shortcomings. Looks like we need to rethink the operational definition of caregiver. Dianne

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  12. Hi, would you be interested in participating in the blog tour for my award-winning humour novel Royal Flush, to be held in August? If so, email me at scott_t_bartlett@hotmail.com to discuss it further.

    (Feel free to delete this comment.)

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  13. We are not lazy - we are just conserving our energy:)

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