September 23, 2012

Alone



OB beach drawing “Girl with Bushy Hair”, 1981.

After a busy morning not finding the genealogy papers, G and I had a simple lunch together.  He went off to work, and suddenly I became aware that I was alone in the house.  Just alone.  All of a sudden, life seemed very empty.

So odd.  The rooms seemed cavernous weighted down by lack of.  No sounds.  Dark. 

I’ve spent much of my life alone and loved it.  Never before have I been aware of the aloneness though…the emptiness.  My overstuffed rooms and life seemed suddenly hollow, unoccupied by anything tangible…oh, so in need.

Of course those few empty hours filled rapidly.  Scanning a few sketches found in the garage, reading, roasting a chicken, not dancing on the head of a pin, all filled the time till himself returned from the museum.

The memory of that emptiness stayed with me though, 

Echoing. 

7 comments:

  1. I guess depending on the mood and recent events, solitude can be treasured time or it can be achingly lonely. I'm glad your alone time was short and that you filled it well.

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  2. I always love my aloneness, but then I know that it is only temporary and that I do not have to make an effort to reach out. I think that makes all the difference.

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  3. I'm generally happy to be alone, though it is seldom by my choice these days. If the radio isn't interesting, I sing.

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  4. This post really reminded me of those moments when I am alone also and what to do with myself. I found it scary at times, freeing at times. You really made me think, Mage.

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  5. I do okay alone but don't like it all the time, have to get out and put some not alone time in to balance things out. All in all I'd prefer a not living alone. What can I say, we are social critters for the most part, even when we spend the day in proximity but not necessarily interacting.

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  6. I'm glad you had time to realize that you prefer to be in the company of others......You express your thoughts so very well.

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  7. Aloneness NE to loneliness.

    Solitude. Time to sit quietly and reflect.

    I keep dogs and am never alone. Have a good day. Dianne

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