November 13, 2013

Revolt of the Grandparents

A broken Chinese horse stands next to a DeLlamas and an Ives.

We’ve been making cruel decisions about the holidays in the last few days.  We were going to volunteer a little time at a recovery club this Thanksgiving, but the Captain has invited us to dinner instead.  We don’t have to do both, G reminded me, and food holidays are not our favorite things.

We are going to take a heavy hand with our family for the Christmas holiday also.  Cruel tho it may seem, if one of them has made no effort to contact us, to see us, or even email us, we are not giving them a gift this holiday just a card.  Perhaps we should send the card saying, we missed you this year.

We understand they have moved on with their lives, and we are at the bottom of the food chain.  There are pictures of all of them up in the office here.  We miss them.


Life is Really in the Footnotes:
  Work, and off to Ross to find a cheaper 10 inch pan.  NCIS’s last.
  • Herself:  Write, work, Target where all 10 inch pans are 29.00 and up.  Read, dinner and Ross where we found a good 10 inch pan before the NCIS’s.
  • Reading:  Imagine, between books.  I do books today at the store.
  • Balance:  Books.
  • 17 comments:

    1. The gift giving idea makes sense to me. How can you buy someone something when you have no idea how their life is going and what they want or need?? You would just be wasting money unless you send food, I guess. A card is perfect because it lets them know you still are open to having them in your life.

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    2. Wow. That's very harsh of them to treat you like that. I am so very sorry. Glad we will be spending time together, my sweet pal.

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    3. Oh yes, the food holidays. Not my favorite either. I'm making plans to volunteer instead, Thanksgiving and Christmas Eve. Will visit the relatives when it's quieter.

      The card sounds perfect; it leaves the door open. Me and my DIL and I are trying to turn the gift frenzy into something smaller and more meaningful. Just high school age and down gifts, no more adults. I will be there on Christmas morning when the grandkids get up to . My eldest son will be there and we will do potluck breakfast.

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    4. I think you've known me long enough that you're familiar with my rants about the holidays, started even earlier this year. Jumping the Gun.

      I think it is very kind of you to send anything at all.

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    5. A card says: we're thinking of you. We haven't forgotten you. We will never forget you. You are important in our lives even though you are being insanely stupid by missing a chance to really know the most fascinating people on earth. Lick the stamp, bless it and let it go. Amen.

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    6. Yep, bottom of the food chain, that's us until they need something.

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    7. We will not communicate with David's boys, have not done so for years. His daughter is a little better, always brings Christmas cheer. My daughter will be going in circles..as usual. She will be up Nov. 30 for visit. Hopefully, she will be on an even keel. We may drive down there for Christmas…have not decided. My boys always send cards. I only send gifts to my grandsons. Granddaughters like money.

      We will visit the Abby for Christmas cheer. Love those monks. Dianne

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    8. Since I have the biggest house in my family, I will be hosting Thanksgiving and Christmas this year, as usual. Fun times!

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    9. I agree with the others. Send the "We miss you" card. :)

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    10. ps. Your art has drama and flair.

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    11. My rooms are just as fancy as yours...not as lovely. There is a difference. I keep trying to reduce the clutter and folk-art, etc. I like changing the throws and pillows...so maybe will start there with seasonal color changes.

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    12. This comment has been removed by the author.

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    13. Holidays and food seem to be tightly locked together, don't they. I love the catch-ups with friends, but don't appreciate the over-eating that often goes with it. Our eating season has started already; I've three meals-with-friends this week.
      Difficult, isn't it, when children you've given gifts to grow into adults and you hardly know each other. It's a bit easier for me, as the children I've gifted are all non-relatives, so I make my own rules. And mine is: no gifts given beyond the age of 18 (except for the obligatory 21st), weddings etc. If they keep in touch, we exchange cards.

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    14. Just a hello... and a missing you both...

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    15. Good for you.
      The Christmases I adored were when I was a student nurse and it was purely for the children and none of us had off duty. At the end of Christmas Day we were exhausted but so happy.

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    16. The card would say it all, I think. I'd do the same thing.

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    17. A big thing I learned in AA was that I can't have a relationship without response from the other party. Trimming your list? Good for you, ...

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