February 10, 2015

One into Another

Buying a truck;1995

I’ve been following a progression of books, one into the other as if they belonged together.  Losing Mum and Pup flowing into No more Words then falling into the memoir
Under a wing.  The connectedness of the books doesn’t lighten the topic in my mind at all.

Fathers and mothers.  I began wondering if these people loved each other.  Why did they stay married?  One group was very social, having crowds of friends in or around them all the time; the family built up high walls to reinforce their solitary safety net. 

When I was married to Paul, my house was always crowded.  Conversations flowed in and out like a colorful weaving every night…more on weekends.  Art, photography, writing, politics, all talked of over a beer or glass of wine, all threaded through the cigarette and marijuana smoke.  Now few visit here.

I find I am always taking pictures of my home.  Occasionally I rearrange my empty rooms until they are so filled with things the rooms grow static.

George was raised like a military dependent moving every few years  He learned not to make friends as he would always have to leave them behind.  His solitary life style is a result of his parents actions, and he remains a very solitary person.  I know he cherishes some special friends, and he interacts wonderfully with others when thrown into their circle.  But he genuinely likes being alone.

They say when you get married, one person adapts to the life style of the other.  Perhaps those long ago crowds were inspired by Paul, and I just flowed along.  I know that I’m railing today against this emptier life in which George is so comfortable.


  1. Having grown up like him, I'm afraid I am like George, but it doesn't bother me a bit. Perhaps I am Autistic? Ah well, thank goodness there are people like you and Kathy.

  2. I think we were more social when we lived in the big house on Cable St.

  3. I too had a George-like childhood (14 moves in 12 school years) and tend to be fine alone much of the time, perhaps more than I'd like but not enough to bother me. My early married years we both brought home lots of people and the house was jammed with conversation and company and later kids too. By the time the kids were in school things changed. For myself I quit drinking when we decided to have kids, and my sober self really is a not as outgoing. But I'm content these days.

  4. I like to be around people, but I also enjoy my alone time. Hubby is the quiet one.

  5. There's a lot of 'quarters brats ' around - another one here. Just put roots down and get to know people and your father is posted! I leaned to live my own life and not get too involved with others. I'll go with the crowd if I have to but will admit to still liking to be on my own.

  6. I believe in talking to people who love you. Nuff said.

  7. Well, I don't agree that it was just Paul who was the social draw. I seem to remember when you live in the apartment in OB - the big one upstairs - I loved that place especially sitting outside over the street - that there were many social times with you and George. How about the time you had an "opening" for Don and he showed us the painting of Gene and I? Or the Christmas parties - do you still save wrapping paper and re-use it? Seemed to me there people were always dropping by just to say hi. We we had many dinners together if I remember correctly. And then there was the sad occasion of the meal after Gene's memorial service in 1987. There are more examples. Perhaps it's not you - how many of your old friends have moved away or are no longer with us?

  8. I am more of a loner by habit. I love my people but am comfortable on my own most of the time.


What a delight to get a note from you. Thanks for leaving one.


Peter in front of a wall sculpture. We were invited up to Peter Knego’s home to see the latest installation.   Abstract flat ...