March 25, 2019

LEXICON


On a first meeting I asked,
what do you do for a living
and there was silence.
I asked again,
socially,
just to fill the empty spaces
before he said
pornography
with a pause
child pornography,
do you mind?

            ii
Once painting a house
for a distinguished government man
I pulled a bed out from the wall only
to discover soft padded metal rings
chained on every corner,
what are these I asked
not socially for I was really curious.
I didn’t need to know, he told me,
hiding the padded handcuffs
deep under the covers.

            iii
All socialization gone
I yelled foul mouthed
fear filled obscenities
when homeboys in their stolen car
ran the little sedan straight at me
no divergence, no variation in line
just the screech of the oil pan
the spray of hot oil
hissing onto the street
as it hit the tall barrio curb.

Not thinking
they meant to kill me,
not thinking of the pain
the deviations
the small deaths
then.

Today my ignorance’s frighten me.

26 comments:

  1. Oh gracious! This is very dark. Scary.

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  2. You have had some experiences that most of us haven't.

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    Replies
    1. I was a real bottom of the barrel person.

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  3. We can be in many wrong places at the wrong time, especially when we are young and invincible. Most we extricate ourselves from, little or no damage done. We learn something that we store up against future encounters.
    When I was in college, waiting at the curb to J-walk across our residential street to the dorm, as always, I glanced down the road at a speeding car with boys hanging out all windows, yelling. As it passed me, one reached way out, grabbed my arm and I actually was dragged a short distance before I broke loose. I was eighteen or nineteen, not hurt. All the adults gathered around yelled at the speeding away car. I paid more attention to what was going on in traffic from then.

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    Replies
    1. OMGosh. That was an unexpectedly frightening experience....much like the barrio kids aiming their car at me. So glad they let lose of you.

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    2. I had nothing intelligent to say about that poem...it left me breathless with my mouth hanging open. Joanne on the other hand, knew exactly what to say.

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  4. I think that was before my time.

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  5. Sadly there are a lot of sick people out there that are disguised as normal and you ran into a couple. I once tried to make Mohammad Atta smile as he came through my toll booth regularly as he drove to his flying lessons. The same one whom we later learned was a ring leader on 9-11. My ignorance sickened me.

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    Replies
    1. Mine with the pornograapher too. Sickened is a wonderful word.

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    2. If you tried to make Atta smile, once as her regularly drove through your booth...why does your ignorance sicken you? You had no idea of what he was doing...unlike someone who was dating a person selling child porn...think about it...child abuse...rape of a child!

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  6. You’ve been exposed to a lot, Mage. The world can be a scary place indeed.

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  7. Yes you have been exposed!. Thinking you got a great poem out of child abuse and saying that!. Did you report him? You are deluded. Also saying chopped off heads on a sticks was a great photo!. Ye gods you are evil!. Mad beyond belief and fuck you are going to Disneyland where children are!. Marion. You are crazier than a box of frogs!.

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    Replies
    1. I never saw that man again after that brief hour.

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  8. Ah am not blocked.

    I find the comments of longer term readers incredible.....you have experienced things we have not, there are a lot of sick people out there, wrong place wrong time....but no outrage that you dated a person who made their living through child abuse!

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    Replies
    1. They know me well. That's why.

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    2. This comment has been removed by the author.

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  9. Online people do not know you, actually if they are with you are colluding in abuse!. Sick as hell.!. I was abused by a pillar of community, took years to get him and her aiding him jailed for 27 years!. People behind a computer do not know you!. Fact you colluded with abuse then wrote a poem vomit!. Fact you said you got a good poem out of it VOMIT. Marion

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  10. Live on the edge builds character. I have no character, but I would be a coward. Then again. when I was younger I would have seen the edge much differently.

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  11. Despite all the horrors, I discovered that all those behaviors and beliefs drummed into me as a child stuck with me. Amazing. You have character and weeds. I find lately my poetry doesn't see much beyond mush, but in 2014 it did.

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  12. I was hoping he was a cop locking up perverts. Gosh I hope this didn't really happen.

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  13. We learn a lot during the time we inhabit this earth through our experiences. Naivety can vary so for individuals — and so we keep moving on.

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    Replies
    1. I was not only mad as a hatter from alcohol and drugs, I was a naive mindless person. I'm a little better these days. LOL

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