On
a first meeting I asked,
what
do you do for a living
and
there was silence.
I
asked again,
socially,
just
to fill the empty spaces
before
he said
pornography
with
a pause
child
pornography,
do
you mind?
ii
Once
painting a house
for
a distinguished government man
I
pulled a bed out from the wall only
to
discover soft padded metal rings
chained
on every corner,
what
are these I asked
not
socially for I was really curious.
I
didn’t need to know, he told me,
hiding
the padded handcuffs
deep
under the covers.
iii
All
socialization gone
I
yelled foul mouthed
fear
filled obscenities
when
homeboys in their stolen car
ran
the little sedan straight at me
no divergence,
no variation in line
just
the screech of the oil pan
the
spray of hot oil
hissing
onto the street
as
it hit the tall barrio curb.
Not
thinking
they
meant to kill me,
not
thinking of the pain
the
deviations
the
small deaths
then.
Today
my ignorance’s frighten me.
Oh gracious! This is very dark. Scary.
ReplyDeleteIt was really scarry. Thanks.
DeleteYou have had some experiences that most of us haven't.
ReplyDeleteI was a real bottom of the barrel person.
DeleteWe can be in many wrong places at the wrong time, especially when we are young and invincible. Most we extricate ourselves from, little or no damage done. We learn something that we store up against future encounters.
ReplyDeleteWhen I was in college, waiting at the curb to J-walk across our residential street to the dorm, as always, I glanced down the road at a speeding car with boys hanging out all windows, yelling. As it passed me, one reached way out, grabbed my arm and I actually was dragged a short distance before I broke loose. I was eighteen or nineteen, not hurt. All the adults gathered around yelled at the speeding away car. I paid more attention to what was going on in traffic from then.
OMGosh. That was an unexpectedly frightening experience....much like the barrio kids aiming their car at me. So glad they let lose of you.
DeleteI had nothing intelligent to say about that poem...it left me breathless with my mouth hanging open. Joanne on the other hand, knew exactly what to say.
DeleteI think that was before my time.
ReplyDeleteSadly there are a lot of sick people out there that are disguised as normal and you ran into a couple. I once tried to make Mohammad Atta smile as he came through my toll booth regularly as he drove to his flying lessons. The same one whom we later learned was a ring leader on 9-11. My ignorance sickened me.
ReplyDeleteMine with the pornograapher too. Sickened is a wonderful word.
DeleteIf you tried to make Atta smile, once as her regularly drove through your booth...why does your ignorance sicken you? You had no idea of what he was doing...unlike someone who was dating a person selling child porn...think about it...child abuse...rape of a child!
DeleteYou’ve been exposed to a lot, Mage. The world can be a scary place indeed.
ReplyDeleteYes you have been exposed!. Thinking you got a great poem out of child abuse and saying that!. Did you report him? You are deluded. Also saying chopped off heads on a sticks was a great photo!. Ye gods you are evil!. Mad beyond belief and fuck you are going to Disneyland where children are!. Marion. You are crazier than a box of frogs!.
ReplyDeleteI never saw that man again after that brief hour.
DeleteSeem o be blocked
ReplyDeleteNot blocked.
DeleteAh am not blocked.
ReplyDeleteI find the comments of longer term readers incredible.....you have experienced things we have not, there are a lot of sick people out there, wrong place wrong time....but no outrage that you dated a person who made their living through child abuse!
They know me well. That's why.
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DeleteOnline people do not know you, actually if they are with you are colluding in abuse!. Sick as hell.!. I was abused by a pillar of community, took years to get him and her aiding him jailed for 27 years!. People behind a computer do not know you!. Fact you colluded with abuse then wrote a poem vomit!. Fact you said you got a good poem out of it VOMIT. Marion
ReplyDeleteLive on the edge builds character. I have no character, but I would be a coward. Then again. when I was younger I would have seen the edge much differently.
ReplyDeleteDespite all the horrors, I discovered that all those behaviors and beliefs drummed into me as a child stuck with me. Amazing. You have character and weeds. I find lately my poetry doesn't see much beyond mush, but in 2014 it did.
ReplyDeleteI was hoping he was a cop locking up perverts. Gosh I hope this didn't really happen.
ReplyDeleteAll those things really happened.
DeleteWe learn a lot during the time we inhabit this earth through our experiences. Naivety can vary so for individuals — and so we keep moving on.
ReplyDeleteI was not only mad as a hatter from alcohol and drugs, I was a naive mindless person. I'm a little better these days. LOL
Delete