“My love
Is like the grasses
Hidden in the deep
mountain:
Though its abundance
increases
There is none that knows.”
Ono
No Yoshiki
(From
a journal entry, 1979)
.............................................................................................................................................................................
The first appointment was
with a neurologist; I had never seen him before. My blood pressure was high…it has been for
days. He asked about the 1980’s stroke, what
I remember and don’t remember and seemed fascinated that I remember so little
of my childhood.
Next, simple tests. Could I draw a box, could I draw a clock then
add hands. I could. Alzheimer’s
patients can’t do that. He thinks there
was some major trauma that gave me PTSD and ADD. He gave me a pill and told me to take
half. If after a period of time my
memory got batter, I could up it to a full pill. Come back in three months. I liked him but am resistant to more pills. Daughter Margot, who has PTSD, suggests bio-feedback telling me that it worked well for her.
On our way home for lunch,
we stopped at Office Depot. All the pens
in the house are “fine.” I have trouble
seeing those fine lines. No Medium for
me, I bought two packages of BOLD.
Lunch and a nap lead to a
Doctor encounter that was a huge waste of time.
Trapped in very heavy mid-day traffic, we were five minutes late. The lady at the counter thought we couldn’t
be seen. That gave us a scare. Blood Pressure, how are you, thanks for
coming in, bye….it wasn’t a necessary visit.
Dinner was
interesting. It does make a difference to
make these open faced sandwiches on a firm bread. I didn’t.
Garlic bread, zucchini and yellow squash grilled with scallions over
ricotta cheese. Delicious tho very
collapsible.
…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
- Himself: Yesterday stained and sprayed the boxes. Boxes need a finish sanding and a final coat of urethane to be finished. Today auditing wrecks. Two days ago G discovered al his sick days had vanished. He called the boss with a nice message, and today he discovered the days had been returned.
- Myself: Write here. Today measure “Axial Length.”
- Drawing: The living room at DSA with a painting by Tommy Driscoll and Pico the cat sitting on my bed.
- Reading: Another Anna Pidgeon.
- Gratitude’s: That I don’t have Alzheimer’s. That I got a new cell phone number which didn’t belong to someone who owed great amounts of money like the last one…Kevin. That George tirelessly held my hand all day.
I buy baguettes at Whole Foods for those kinds of sandwiches. Strong, firm, even chewy bread. I could eat a whole loaf but I try to resist.
ReplyDeleteYes, dinner was interesting. We might stick them back in the broiler for a few minutes after they have been all put together.
ReplyDeleteThat's yet another fab sketch and a nice piece of accompanying verse.
ReplyDeleteGreat news from the neurologist! I am delighted for you.
ReplyDeleteFabulous sketch.
It is interesting your early childhood memories are absent since often people retain early memories but more recent ones are the ones not as accessible for so many. But there can be so many variations for so many different reasons that pulling the threads for why that is often is not simple — so we address and cope with what is.
ReplyDeleteHope you found some pens capable of producing thick lines. My mother required the same thicker lines, black ink on white best as the macular degeneration she developed progressed. This was years ago before they knew as much about MD as is known now. Additionally years earlier she had vision issues doctors were unable to diagnose until many years later. Ophthalmologists were always fascinated, concluded nothing could be done those many years later, but thought she’d had a bursted blood vessel, possibly in the 1940s. As much as they don’t know now, progress has been made so hope you benefit from knowledge gained and treatment they’re able to provide.
Wonder if you’re able to indulge your artistic talents for sketching with broader type lines, with less defined specifics, but maybe that would be called a different form. Interesting to think of some renowned artists whose style has been admired and we learn they had visual issues, too.
I find my early years slipping away. I remember bits of high school, bits of college.It does not overly concern me. I so dislike days taken up by doctors!
ReplyDeleteThank goodness it's not the 'Big A'. I do love your drawings.
ReplyDeleteTold you that it would be better. I was late for a doctor's meeting due to a traffic issue last year and they said they could not see me. I had an ear infection and I said I would just sit in the lobby and wait because I was too sick to reschedule and lo and behold they saw me 45 minutes later. That drawing fascinating, I can see how you got lost in its creation.
ReplyDeleteOk, I just had to see if I could draw a clock. Thanks. Have you checked out noninvasive TMS therapy? It is great for depression but also promising for PTSD My sister uses it for depression and it has changed her completely. I have a friend with PTSD who plans to try it. Just a thought.
ReplyDelete