My
daughter Milaka calls sounding just like daughter Margot. Margot calls sounding just like Laka. My brain seems to be left behind in
confusions these days. I listen until I
can figure out who it really is and what it’s really all about.
I
wake with thoughts of my friend Joleen this morning. How did she handle her first few days after
her cancer diagnosis? Once she found her
large lump, she went on a road trip. Was
she deliberately trying to suicide as we all thought she was doing. Janey?
She had multiple surgeries before the last reoccurrence of her
cancer. Janey decided against conventional
treatments, but when her tumor burst there was nothing more anyone could do
with any treatment.
Bobbie
and Michael mixed alternative medicine and conventional treatments to keep
Michael alive years beyond his expiration date. Stage four lung cancer is a truly ugly beast. The Lymphoma that Poolie had was another ugly
beast. I don’t have the information I need to tell
you why she didn’t live. Grandson David’s
lover died of Lymphoma too despite all the latest treatments offered by City of
Hope.
I
can’t list all my missing friends. Some
like Marion and Lee were very special. I
won’t forget them. What it’s really all
about is love. Whether you live or die,
it’s all about love. I can’t wallow in
my past, but every day I need to keep leaping into the future with a positive
attitude.
……………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….
- Himself: Working today, steak for dinner, Meeting tonight.
- Myself: Bad night. Wrote this scattered entry. More laundry.
- Photo: Mine.
- Reading: A mindless Colgan romance.
- Gratitude’s: That it was all caught early.
Not scattered. Courageous. Determined. Loved.
ReplyDeleteLoving and having been loved is what it’s all about for me too, thinking of you, Mage!
ReplyDeleteThe road trip sounds like a good response to the bad news. Depending on the type of cancer I don’t what I would do — fight or flight.
ReplyDeleteYou need to stop "leaping" into the future. The future comes and you face it openly and deal with it. In the meantime, love the present with open arms.
ReplyDeleteYes, yes, yes, am I not allowed a little lightness. Of everyone you know, I am the least lightly to leap anywhere. LOL
DeleteIt is so hard to watch someone suffering and ultimately dying from something and you can't do a thing about it..just hold their hand and be there for them and hope if it comes to yourself someone will hold your hand.
ReplyDeleteOne day at a time....
ReplyDeleteWe all seek the steps that carry us past frightening obstacles and they are often vastly different steps. Do what gives you comfort.
ReplyDeleteIf Love could have kept Poolie alive, she would never have been sick in the first place. I still can't believe she is gone.
ReplyDeleteStay strong sister. You're right - love is what its all about. You are much loved.
ReplyDeleteJe