October 23, 2019


Each time I wake up from another test, I feel as if I am going to live forever.  I know there are more long train trips ahead, there are paintings to be hung, and there are quilts just waiting for the touch of my machine.  There’s life in me again.

In a way, the decision to install a stair lift up those endless back stairs solidifies our decision to stay here in this ugly townhouse.  We do not want to move away from the coolness at the beach to another state, and the mortgage and HOA here are something we can afford.  Rents in this area are running about $3,000 a month.  That’s beyond our fragile budget.  Small thinking, if we stay here we do not have to get rid of any more books or art.  Yes, there’s life in me again.

I found myself sitting in the living room just enjoying the view yesterday.  The straight books, the green leaves on the trees through the windows, the wonderful blue-purple color of the flowers on the end table.  I can’t just jump up and do things yet as I can’t catch my breath.  But breath will come.

  • Himself:  Friday we have appointments with the Social Security folks.  Got a mountain of small errands done yesterday.
  • Myself:  Little fluid remaining.  It was not painless.  Finished the new Penny, and gone back to read an older one.
  • Photo:  Japanese/American Museum in Little Tokyo; 2011, one of the shacks from Manzanar.  (Nowhere can I find a list of the contents of the museum, so I’m guessing that these tar paper shacks are from Manzanar.
  • Gratitude’s:  George.


  1. There's something about living within your means and being both comfortable and grateful with it.

  2. You are sounding like your old self today, Mage. Staying where you are does have huge benefits. Moving is such a hard task.

  3. Wax on, wax off ........ Breathe, very important ..... must breathe

  4. Well, we have exhaled a collective sigh of relief, that you have good solutions and are taking them!

  5. I agree with Joanne. We're all keeping you in our thoughts and wishing you more progress. I'm so glad you got the chair lift. I'll need that one of these days too because there are too many steps to the 2nd floor.

  6. Just as you search for breath, as so do I. Sleep seems to be the order of the day and night right now, so I sleep. My breathing is easier--not perfect, but easier and I'll accept that. So very glad you're staying where you are. A stair lift is a great idea. Hugs and much love to you both.

  7. So glad you have decided to stay and to accept a stair lift to make life more comfortable. Breathing use to be reflexive but when it becomes a conscious effort, life loses a bit of its shine. I know the feeling well. Still take what help is offered and get on with all those things you still want to do.




  Tidy, much more so now.     Thread is mixed in with the books as are pens and those ever useful measuring implements.   My desk is a bit...